- Simone Jacob
The most shameful feeling in the world - envy
Yes, I'm always jealous. A feeling I don't like to admit.
Feelings like: impatient, domineering, anxious, unfair, arrogant, annoying... just to name a few, on the other hand, are easy to endure. No problem if I find myself in one of these drawers. I can work on these feelings and ideally change my behavior.
On the other hand, I find envy really shameful. A feeling I don't want. It shows that I'm dissatisfied with myself, don't think I'm good enough and begrudge others what I don't have. Envy arises when I compare, judge and yoke myself to my own merciless standards with those around me.
Envy makes you unhappy because there will always be someone who is better, more beautiful, richer, smarter.
But especially in times of self-optimization, of the well-treated do-gooder, it is becoming increasingly difficult to stand by this shameful feeling. Instead, it is hidden from the envied counterpart under ecstatic phrases, such as: "I am happy for you from the bottom of my heart". In fact, you go home with a heart full of frustration and resentment. Smile on the outside, poison on the inside. That definitely not good.
The Bible lists envy as one of the seven deadly sins. Envy makes us small and has a destructive effect on our relationships.
At worst, envy leads to intrigue, sabotage, or even robbery and murder. Throughout human history, envy has often been the cause of tribal feuds and wars. So it's no wonder that we don't want to have anything to do with this feeling.
Nevertheless, it is there and as long as we are jealous again and again, we will not be able to live relaxed and happy. Unless we surround ourselves exclusively with people who do not have any attributes that we envy them. In all consequence, however, this would mean that we should not tolerate anyone in our environment who challenges us with their qualities and ultimately inspires us. Unfortunately, this also means that we take the opportunity to grow. And that would be terrible!
So what if we skirted every whiff of envy right away and took it as a positive nudge to confront our own shortcomings, but also opportunities.
It may be that envy tells us, "Look, here at this point you have become careless, you have let yourself go and you should work more on yourself to improve yourself."
The crazy thing is, envy doesn't stop at anyone. No matter what step of the ladder of success you are on or whether your name is Bill Gates, Angelina Jolie or Lieschen Müller. There is always someone who is better or whom we perceive as better, even if objectively he is not. Ultimately, it's always about self-esteem and whether you can love yourself with your strengths but also with all your weaknesses.
So since envy affects everyone, why not stand up for it offensively? Maybe even say it instead of denying it, secretly torment yourself or get rid of it in blasphemy attacks with others?!
Let's accept ENVY as a friend who asks us to grow, to be more calm, generous and loving towards ourselves. After all, envy is a completely normal human emotion.
Everything that envy shows you is actually YOUR topic. So, let's get to work and work on ourselves.
Conversely, of course, it also happens that people are jealous of you. You can do little against the envy of others. It doesn't really feel good for you either. On the other hand, envy is still better than pity. As the saying goes in the vernacular:
"You have to earn envy, you get pity for free."