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  • Simone Jacob

Hello, my name is VAGINA and I do not want to be ashamed anymore!

I live embedded in the vulva and am an extremely sensitive creature and yes, I age just like the rest of my wearer.

The year is 2022 and most women consider themselves emancipated, yet there is this one fabled region of our body that is still largely unknown to us and whose name we only publicly mouth under duress and blushes of shame.


I also hesitated for a long time before I started to write this text. Embarrassing, unsexy, too intimate the topic


But then I thought, hey, I'm the cheerleader of my own life. It's up to each and every one, consequently me, to get this topic out of the muddy corner. Because all vaginas have to tell is simply life and the story of getting older and passing away.

Dear sisters, that which takes place between our legs and on which - just like on the rest of us - the ravages of time gnaw, is not a place of shame. At most, what is shameful is our attitude toward it.

Our vagina usually only plays a role in connection with sex. There it is also called differently. "Pussy" is still one of the nicer terms. But our vagina is much more than just a source of pleasure and the place from which children pop. Above all, it is an independent being that reacts to the changes in our hormones and age, just like the rest of us.

Let's be clear: vaginas and vulvas age, become wrinkled, cracked and dry. This can cause significant problems in everyday life and sex, especially during peri-, menopause and post-menopause! So let's talk. Because silence does not help and does not heal!

After menopause, the female body can hardly store any moisture in the skin. This dryness naturally also affects our skin around the bottom, i.e. the skin of our labia and the mucous membranes of our vagina. They become dry and thus very sensitive. This means sex that used to go all the time - even without foreplay - is now painful because the vaginal skin is thinner and can tear easily inside and out.

For many women beyond 60, penetration is therefore a painful affair. Often, however, women are embarrassed to talk about it with their husbands. They feel they are failing as a woman or are afraid of losing their man if they can't give him what he needs. Silently and in pain they endure sex for the sake of their husband.

I know that not every woman is as lucky as I am to have an understanding partner and it is certainly not easy to bring up this delicate subject. But a relationship without penetration does not have to be sexless, sexuality and intimacy can take place on many levels. You can give each other an erotic massage, kiss passionately, cuddle on the sofa, walk hand in hand.

The aging of our genitals is a completely natural process that affects almost every woman at some point, more or less half of the world's population, that is, four billion!!! And yet we hardly know anything about it.

Bedenke, auch Dein Partner wird älter und sein bestes Stück funktioniert vielleicht auch weniger aufrecht als mit 30. Möglicherweise ist er sogar froh, von der Last des „immer Stehen müssens“ befreit zu sein. Wie auch immer, aber ganz sicher ist Schweigen und stilles Leiden der falsche Weg.

I want to get started here, and honestly, it's going to take all my courage. So here is my story:

For me, too, the strike of my vagina came out of the blue. At 60, my last estrogens, testosterones and progesterones had gone. I breathed a sigh of relief, finally the menopausal cramp was over, now the party could really get going again. But then something completely surprising happened: I had pain during sex! I never had that before! And it didn't get any better.

My gynecologist, with an expert but concerned look inside my vagina, stated, "Your inner walls are torn. Sex must hurt like hell." Yes, it did!

I was eager to share with others about my problem, ask for experiences, prescriptions, help, but ran into a wall of silence. Why?

In the Zeit magazine of 3.11.22, Jörg Burger writes about the prevailing age optimism. "It seems as if we don't want to admit that not only our skin and our organs but also our sexual organs are subject to decay."

Sure, why should the aging process pass by our genitals, of all things. After all, with menopause they have lost their function as reproductive organs.

Of course, this also affects men! For us women, it becomes dry and cracked down below, while for men, the best part often remains soft and no longer stands up. But I can only speak for myself, the female sex and also only from my personal experience. I am not a doctor, only affected.

Unfortunately, no one ever prepared me for the fact that without hormones, the vagina is like a dried-up well. With the pain during sex, the libido, which is already simmering on the back burner due to the loss of hormones, completely plummets.

And dear sisters, that is not all. It can get even worse. Have you ever heard of vaginal atrophy? This refers to a shrinking vagina. My gynecologist told me that she can barely reach the vagina with the speculum in some older women. A horror! But it doesn't have to come to that.

Against dryness, loss of libido and shrinkage of the vagina you can do something!

Sprecht mit Eurer Frauenärztin. Die Lösung kann für jede Frau anders aussehen. Ich habe mich in Absprache mit meiner wunderbaren Ärztin für eine Hormonersatztherapie entschieden. Morgens nehme ich ein bis zwei Pumpstöße Östradiol, Abends eine Tablette mit Progesteron und 2-3 mal die Woche schiebe ich ein Östrogen-Zäpfchen in die Scheide, das die Schleimhäute wieder aufbaut. Meine Beschwerden sind dadurch fast weg.

Talk to your gynecologist. The solution may be different for every woman. In consultation with my wonderful doctor, I have opted for hormone replacement therapy. I take one to two pumps of estradiol in the morning, a tablet of progesterone in the evening, and 2-3 times a week I insert an estrogen suppository into the vagina, which rebuilds the mucous membranes. My complaints are almost gone as a result.

Literature for women and men ;-)

  • A wonderful book on the subject, is: "Women on Fire" by Sheila de Liz, MD.

  • Also interesting the courageous book by Jane Lewis, "Me & My Menopausal Vagina". Unfortunately, only in English.

I also follow:

  • Jill Chmielewsky. She deals with menopause.

  • xbyx Women in Balance: solutions for hormonal balance, menopause & healthy aging. @xbyxwomen on YouTube



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